Privacy, trust, and being clingy in a marriage?

My husband and I have been together for 10 years and married for 7. We have had our trials and tribulations as most marriages do, but over the last 3 years it progressively got worse. My husband took a job where he was gone 3-6 weeks at a time. He has now since started a local job and is home every night. He has confessed to an instance of cheating on me while he was on the road with work. We had a huge blow up about it, separated for several months and are now trying to put the pieces back together and make our marriage work. I can not control myself now, I am always trying to catch him doing something wrong, whether he is or not. He continues to tell me that I am way too clingy and I need to back off some, and that he respects my privacy so I should respect his (i.e. not snooping through his email and cellphone). I genuinely believe that he wants to try to make this work, as do I, but how do you rebuild trust and stop from being so clingy when it has been bad for so long. To top that off, one of his old childhood friends has magically reappeared and now her and her husband seem to be around all the time. My husband talks to her a lot during the day and doesn't seem to understand why I have a problem with this. He knows that I don't trust him, and that it will take time, but how do you get back on the road of not feeling like you need to monitor everything all the time. I feel more like a babysitter than a wife, but I think the feelings are genuine about making our marriage work and getting through this. Counseling doesn't seem like an option right now due to work schedules, any advice would be greatly appreciated